Chapter 30 Remembering good counsel
Chapter 30 Remembering good counsel
第三十章 記住好的建言
第三十章 記住好的建言
中文有聲書
Ch30.m4a
30. Remembering good counsel
30. Remembering good counsel
I loved my grandfather. He was my image of a “man’s man”: sea captain, war hero, and paterfamilias to a large and successful family. A lifetime smoker who quit too late, he contracted esophageal cancer and quickly went from vibrant to insignificant to dead. This happened in a very short period of time: I was fifteen. This was the first major loss or unexplainable occurrence in my life and it distressed me. I realized that life is finite and, obviously, includes the gift of consciousness given, “for sure,” only to me. Though others may look like me and respond to me, can I be sure that they are really alive? These thoughts stayed with me. I began to get up at 2 AM and go for a walk along the local quay (fishing was also a dominant industry in our village) and listen to the small boats slapping against the wooden dock. When I returned home, my mother would be waiting. Though I wanted nothing but my bed, she would insist on tea. The tea lent itself to a conversation about life and love and God and your place in the universe. She made me feel worthwhile and complete. I was not mature and had yet to make my “deal” with God, but I felt as if the journey had begun. I was on my way to philosophical and psychological integration, on my way to peace. I had been granted a reprieve and was thus allowed to develop and be me.
I loved my grandfather. He was my image of a “man’s man”: sea captain, war hero, and paterfamilias to a large and successful family. A lifetime smoker who quit too late, he contracted esophageal cancer and quickly went from vibrant to insignificant to dead. This happened in a very short period of time: I was fifteen. This was the first major loss or unexplainable occurrence in my life and it distressed me. I realized that life is finite and, obviously, includes the gift of consciousness given, “for sure,” only to me. Though others may look like me and respond to me, can I be sure that they are really alive? These thoughts stayed with me. I began to get up at 2 AM and go for a walk along the local quay (fishing was also a dominant industry in our village) and listen to the small boats slapping against the wooden dock. When I returned home, my mother would be waiting. Though I wanted nothing but my bed, she would insist on tea. The tea lent itself to a conversation about life and love and God and your place in the universe. She made me feel worthwhile and complete. I was not mature and had yet to make my “deal” with God, but I felt as if the journey had begun. I was on my way to philosophical and psychological integration, on my way to peace. I had been granted a reprieve and was thus allowed to develop and be me.
The concept of motherhood, the life force, is a dynamic one. This power is evinced through grandfather. I believe that, in the end, he will allow us to salvage enough of Earth’s natural resources to truly save her, and therefore humanity. Our world of the future, I suspect, will not have the same capitalistic values as today. Families, by their very definition, are sharing entities: they provide for the most intelligent and also for the dull-witted. They are inclusive. They represent a microcosm of the Common Good. The consumptive individualism of modern society benefits but the few. It is to be noted, however, that death is the great equalizer of all men.
The concept of motherhood, the life force, is a dynamic one. This power is evinced through grandfather. I believe that, in the end, he will allow us to salvage enough of Earth’s natural resources to truly save her, and therefore humanity. Our world of the future, I suspect, will not have the same capitalistic values as today. Families, by their very definition, are sharing entities: they provide for the most intelligent and also for the dull-witted. They are inclusive. They represent a microcosm of the Common Good. The consumptive individualism of modern society benefits but the few. It is to be noted, however, that death is the great equalizer of all men.
30. 記住好的建言
30. 記住好的建言
我愛我的祖父。在我心目中，他是「男人中的男人。」他是位船長、戰場英雄，也是我們幸福的大家族的一家之主。我的祖父是個老菸槍，戒菸戒得太晚，以致後來感染了食道癌。他的病情急轉直下，在很短的時間內，從精力充沛變虛脫無力，到最終死亡，我當時才十五歲。這是我人生第一次遭逢重大的變故。我無法理解為什麼會發生這樣的事，這帶給我很大的痛苦。我體會到生命是有限的，而且很顯然生命賦予我獨一無二的意識。其他人可能看起來跟我一樣，也能跟我互動，但我又怎麼確定他們是真的活著的呢？這樣的想法一直在我腦中揮之不去。我開始會在凌晨兩點起床，沿著當地碼頭散步（漁業也是我們村裡的一個主要產業），聽小船隨海浪拍打木製碼頭的聲音。當我回到家時，我的母親已經在等我了。即便我只想回到床上，我的母親仍會堅持與我喝杯茶。喝茶時我們很自然地談到生命、愛情、上帝，以及人在宇宙中的角色。我的母親讓我感受到自己的價值與完整性。我當時不夠成熟，對人生感到很迷惘，但我覺得我似乎已展開了人生的探索之旅。我朝著思想與心靈統整的目標前進，追尋我內心的寧靜。我從心靈的囹圄中解脫後，因而能夠自我成長，做真實的自己。
我愛我的祖父。在我心目中，他是「男人中的男人。」他是位船長、戰場英雄，也是我們幸福的大家族的一家之主。我的祖父是個老菸槍，戒菸戒得太晚，以致後來感染了食道癌。他的病情急轉直下，在很短的時間內，從精力充沛變虛脫無力，到最終死亡，我當時才十五歲。這是我人生第一次遭逢重大的變故。我無法理解為什麼會發生這樣的事，這帶給我很大的痛苦。我體會到生命是有限的，而且很顯然生命賦予我獨一無二的意識。其他人可能看起來跟我一樣，也能跟我互動，但我又怎麼確定他們是真的活著的呢？這樣的想法一直在我腦中揮之不去。我開始會在凌晨兩點起床，沿著當地碼頭散步（漁業也是我們村裡的一個主要產業），聽小船隨海浪拍打木製碼頭的聲音。當我回到家時，我的母親已經在等我了。即便我只想回到床上，我的母親仍會堅持與我喝杯茶。喝茶時我們很自然地談到生命、愛情、上帝，以及人在宇宙中的角色。我的母親讓我感受到自己的價值與完整性。我當時不夠成熟，對人生感到很迷惘，但我覺得我似乎已展開了人生的探索之旅。我朝著思想與心靈統整的目標前進，追尋我內心的寧靜。我從心靈的囹圄中解脫後，因而能夠自我成長，做真實的自己。
母親給我們的概念是強大的生命力。這樣的生命力體現在爺爺的身上。我相信，最終爺爺能夠讓我們挽救足夠的天然資源，把地球搶救回來，也因此得以拯救人類。我大膽猜測，我們的未來世界將會與今日資本主義的價值觀有所不同。根據家庭的定義，它是一個彼此分享的群體。家庭照顧最聰明的人，也撫養愚笨的成員。家庭是富有包容性的，是一個利益共同體的縮影。現代社會的個人消費主義只會讓少數人受益。然而，值得一提的是，最後大家終將離開人世，在死亡面前所有人都是平等的。
母親給我們的概念是強大的生命力。這樣的生命力體現在爺爺的身上。我相信，最終爺爺能夠讓我們挽救足夠的天然資源，把地球搶救回來，也因此得以拯救人類。我大膽猜測，我們的未來世界將會與今日資本主義的價值觀有所不同。根據家庭的定義，它是一個彼此分享的群體。家庭照顧最聰明的人，也撫養愚笨的成員。家庭是富有包容性的，是一個利益共同體的縮影。現代社會的個人消費主義只會讓少數人受益。然而，值得一提的是，最後大家終將離開人世，在死亡面前所有人都是平等的。