Chapter 26 That first dance
Chapter 26 That first dance
第二十六章 第一支舞
第二十六章 第一支舞
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26. That first dance
26. That first dance
Did consciousness come to you like a sudden bolt from the heavens or did it ebb in like a rising tide? In my case, it slowly lapped at my feet, its cool water slowly awakening me. My first distinct image was when I was two years old: I had somehow mired my pedal car in what appeared to be an enormous lake of mud and was afraid to exit the vehicle, and step into the abyss.
Did consciousness come to you like a sudden bolt from the heavens or did it ebb in like a rising tide? In my case, it slowly lapped at my feet, its cool water slowly awakening me. My first distinct image was when I was two years old: I had somehow mired my pedal car in what appeared to be an enormous lake of mud and was afraid to exit the vehicle, and step into the abyss.
I imagined the murky water surrounding my tiny machine to be tens of meters deep and filled with exotic and carnivorous fish, and other marine creatures: foreboding. Not wanting to swim to the distant shore, I rocked my little metal steed back and forth, back and forth: all to no avail. What to do, what to do? In a young person, time and hunger are twins. The day began to diminish, and the call of my mother’s cooking overwhelming. I opened the door and tentatively stepped out. Suddenly I was like Christ walking on water.
I imagined the murky water surrounding my tiny machine to be tens of meters deep and filled with exotic and carnivorous fish, and other marine creatures: foreboding. Not wanting to swim to the distant shore, I rocked my little metal steed back and forth, back and forth: all to no avail. What to do, what to do? In a young person, time and hunger are twins. The day began to diminish, and the call of my mother’s cooking overwhelming. I opened the door and tentatively stepped out. Suddenly I was like Christ walking on water.
My imaginary Sea of Galilee1 had only just covered the ground: my creation was an illusion. “But unless we are creators we are not fully alive. What do I mean by creators? Not only artists, whose acts of creation are the obvious ones of working with paint or clay or words. Creativity is a way of living life, no matter our vocation or how we earn our living. Creativity is not limited to the arts, or having some kind of important career.”2 Thus I had learned my most valuable lesson of life: imagination is everything!
My imaginary Sea of Galilee1 had only just covered the ground: my creation was an illusion. “But unless we are creators we are not fully alive. What do I mean by creators? Not only artists, whose acts of creation are the obvious ones of working with paint or clay or words. Creativity is a way of living life, no matter our vocation or how we earn our living. Creativity is not limited to the arts, or having some kind of important career.”2 Thus I had learned my most valuable lesson of life: imagination is everything!
The second dramatic image that came to me was one of total perplexity. I grew up in a time that there was very little contact between boys and girls. You went to school with “them” but they were clannish and distant. As an adolescent, I knew that girls were unique and different than we were. How I wasn’t quite sure: but dissimilar they were!
The second dramatic image that came to me was one of total perplexity. I grew up in a time that there was very little contact between boys and girls. You went to school with “them” but they were clannish and distant. As an adolescent, I knew that girls were unique and different than we were. How I wasn’t quite sure: but dissimilar they were!
Mothers, of course, occupied a totally different sphere. They weren’t girls. They were something else – well, mothers. So here you had this curious dilemma. Both were girls, but mothers were detached and sacrosanct. I was impressed that even my father “softened” around my mother.
Mothers, of course, occupied a totally different sphere. They weren’t girls. They were something else – well, mothers. So here you had this curious dilemma. Both were girls, but mothers were detached and sacrosanct. I was impressed that even my father “softened” around my mother.
Once entering a cathedral, I walked in front of this good lady. My father gently, but quite firmly, seized my shoulder and pulled me back behind my mother – allowing her to enter the church first. I never forgot this moment. To this day I have this ingrained sense of deference towards women. Then Grade Eight came upon us: this was the year of great changes – both psychologically and physically. My colleagues began to have girlfriends. I had no idea what was really going on, being a “late bloomer.”3 That being said the hunt was obviously on to secure a relationship. How do you even begin? My friend whispered to me with that tone of authority that conveys the truth. “The next time there is a dance; ask your chosen for a slow dance!” This seemed easy enough! The next time there was a school dance, I did ask a sweet young maiden for a dance.
Once entering a cathedral, I walked in front of this good lady. My father gently, but quite firmly, seized my shoulder and pulled me back behind my mother – allowing her to enter the church first. I never forgot this moment. To this day I have this ingrained sense of deference towards women. Then Grade Eight came upon us: this was the year of great changes – both psychologically and physically. My colleagues began to have girlfriends. I had no idea what was really going on, being a “late bloomer.”3 That being said the hunt was obviously on to secure a relationship. How do you even begin? My friend whispered to me with that tone of authority that conveys the truth. “The next time there is a dance; ask your chosen for a slow dance!” This seemed easy enough! The next time there was a school dance, I did ask a sweet young maiden for a dance.
Now, I had never “touched” another female human being in my life other than my mother and our circle of immediate friends – aunts, cousins and the like. When I danced with this young girl, I experienced sensations that I had never received before. At the end of the dance, I was totally speechless and could only mumble – and I mean mumble – a few nondescript words of thanks.
Now, I had never “touched” another female human being in my life other than my mother and our circle of immediate friends – aunts, cousins and the like. When I danced with this young girl, I experienced sensations that I had never received before. At the end of the dance, I was totally speechless and could only mumble – and I mean mumble – a few nondescript words of thanks.
I felt very uncomfortable, excused myself and went home. I needed to return to somewhere that provided a semblance of familiarity – my sanctuary. My father was a good man, but a serious man. He could sense something untoward. “Where were you?” he queried. “I was at a school dance,” giving my reply the necessary neutrality. “Did you dance?” he asked rather innocently. “Yes,” I replied and began to cry.
I felt very uncomfortable, excused myself and went home. I needed to return to somewhere that provided a semblance of familiarity – my sanctuary. My father was a good man, but a serious man. He could sense something untoward. “Where were you?” he queried. “I was at a school dance,” giving my reply the necessary neutrality. “Did you dance?” he asked rather innocently. “Yes,” I replied and began to cry.
At over sixty years old I still don’t know why? Needless to say: dances were forbidden for the foreseeable future. When the “smoke cleared,” I was too late to secure a girlfriend in high school. I subsequently learned my second most valuable lesson of life: you must learn to break down all solipsistic walls if you want to have real contact with anyone: including girls.
At over sixty years old I still don’t know why? Needless to say: dances were forbidden for the foreseeable future. When the “smoke cleared,” I was too late to secure a girlfriend in high school. I subsequently learned my second most valuable lesson of life: you must learn to break down all solipsistic walls if you want to have real contact with anyone: including girls.
The great developmental psychologist Jean Piaget (1896-1980) has a grand thought: “The principal goal of education in the schools should be creating men and women who are capable of doing new things, not simply repeating what other generations have done; men and women who are creative, inventive and discoverers, who can be critical and verify, and not accept, everything they are offered.”
The great developmental psychologist Jean Piaget (1896-1980) has a grand thought: “The principal goal of education in the schools should be creating men and women who are capable of doing new things, not simply repeating what other generations have done; men and women who are creative, inventive and discoverers, who can be critical and verify, and not accept, everything they are offered.”
26. 第一支舞
26. 第一支舞
你覺得意識是如同閃電一樣突然出現在天空中？或者像海水漲潮慢慢地湧進來？以我個人的例子來說，意識有如水緩緩地圍繞著我的腳，涼快的水慢慢地將我喚醒。還記得我兩歲時的第一個清晰的印象，不知怎麼地我的學步車困在當時看起來很大的泥湖中，我很害怕離開那學步車而陷入深淵。
你覺得意識是如同閃電一樣突然出現在天空中？或者像海水漲潮慢慢地湧進來？以我個人的例子來說，意識有如水緩緩地圍繞著我的腳，涼快的水慢慢地將我喚醒。還記得我兩歲時的第一個清晰的印象，不知怎麼地我的學步車困在當時看起來很大的泥湖中，我很害怕離開那學步車而陷入深淵。
在我的想像之中，那些包圍著我學步車的混濁泥水深達數十公尺，其中還充滿了奇特的食人魚與其他的海洋生物，這是不祥的預兆。我不想游到那遙遠的岸邊，只好來來回回地搖晃我的學步車，但一切都無濟於事。我該怎麼辦？我該怎麼做呢？對小孩來說，時間和飢餓是密不可分的，天色漸晚，媽媽烹飪的食物勢不可擋地呼喚著我。我打開學步車的門，小心翼翼地走了出去。頓時我就像基督在水上行走一樣。
在我的想像之中，那些包圍著我學步車的混濁泥水深達數十公尺，其中還充滿了奇特的食人魚與其他的海洋生物，這是不祥的預兆。我不想游到那遙遠的岸邊，只好來來回回地搖晃我的學步車，但一切都無濟於事。我該怎麼辦？我該怎麼做呢？對小孩來說，時間和飢餓是密不可分的，天色漸晚，媽媽烹飪的食物勢不可擋地呼喚著我。我打開學步車的門，小心翼翼地走了出去。頓時我就像基督在水上行走一樣。
我想像中的加利利海1 只有淹過地表那麼淺，我的想像是一場幻覺。「但除非我們成為創造者，否則我們就沒有真正活著。我所謂的創作者是什麼意思呢？創作者不僅侷限於藝術家，也就是很明顯使用顏料、黏土或是文字創作的人。創造力是一種生活方式，無論我們的職業是什麼，或者用什麼方式謀生。創造力不僅限於藝術，還是某些特定重要職業。」2我因而學到了關於生命最有價值的一課：想像力即一切！
我想像中的加利利海1 只有淹過地表那麼淺，我的想像是一場幻覺。「但除非我們成為創造者，否則我們就沒有真正活著。我所謂的創作者是什麼意思呢？創作者不僅侷限於藝術家，也就是很明顯使用顏料、黏土或是文字創作的人。創造力是一種生活方式，無論我們的職業是什麼，或者用什麼方式謀生。創造力不僅限於藝術，還是某些特定重要職業。」2我因而學到了關於生命最有價值的一課：想像力即一切！
我想起第二個令我感到十分困惑的戲劇畫面。我成長的那個年代，男孩和女孩之間少有接觸。雖然你和「她們」上同一所學校，但她們自成一個集團，跟我們很疏遠。當時身為青少年的我知道女孩子是很獨特的，跟男生很不同。雖然我不太確定到底是哪裡不一樣，但她們就是不同！
我想起第二個令我感到十分困惑的戲劇畫面。我成長的那個年代，男孩和女孩之間少有接觸。雖然你和「她們」上同一所學校，但她們自成一個集團，跟我們很疏遠。當時身為青少年的我知道女孩子是很獨特的，跟男生很不同。雖然我不太確定到底是哪裡不一樣，但她們就是不同！
當然母親的角色是完全不一樣的，她們不是女孩。她們是另外一種......，好吧，媽媽們。因此，你的處境很奇怪。明明兩者都是女性，但母親卻是超然且不可侵犯的。令我印象深刻的是，即便是我父親，他在我母親的身邊似乎也變得溫和了。
當然母親的角色是完全不一樣的，她們不是女孩。她們是另外一種......，好吧，媽媽們。因此，你的處境很奇怪。明明兩者都是女性，但母親卻是超然且不可侵犯的。令我印象深刻的是，即便是我父親，他在我母親的身邊似乎也變得溫和了。
有次走進教堂，我走在我母親的前面。我的父親溫和但是卻非常堅定地抓住我的肩膀，把我拉回母親身後，禮讓母親先進入教堂。我永遠不會忘記這一刻。直到今天，這種對女性的敬重依然根深蒂固存在我心裡。進入八年級時有很大的變化，無論是心理上還是身體上。我的同學開始交女朋友了，當時的我並不知道究竟發生了什麼事，我顯然是個「大器晚成」3的傢伙。即便如此，我已經想追尋一段愛情，但應該要怎麼開始呢？我的朋友用傳達真理那種權威的語氣低聲告訴我：「下一次有舞會時，邀請你心儀的對象跳一支慢舞！」這聽起來似乎夠簡單的了！後來學校有舞會時，我確實邀請了一位甜美的年輕女子跳一支舞。
有次走進教堂，我走在我母親的前面。我的父親溫和但是卻非常堅定地抓住我的肩膀，把我拉回母親身後，禮讓母親先進入教堂。我永遠不會忘記這一刻。直到今天，這種對女性的敬重依然根深蒂固存在我心裡。進入八年級時有很大的變化，無論是心理上還是身體上。我的同學開始交女朋友了，當時的我並不知道究竟發生了什麼事，我顯然是個「大器晚成」3的傢伙。即便如此，我已經想追尋一段愛情，但應該要怎麼開始呢？我的朋友用傳達真理那種權威的語氣低聲告訴我：「下一次有舞會時，邀請你心儀的對象跳一支慢舞！」這聽起來似乎夠簡單的了！後來學校有舞會時，我確實邀請了一位甜美的年輕女子跳一支舞。
在我的生命中，除了我母親和我們的親密朋友圈，如姑姑、阿姨或表姐妹之類的人以外，我從來沒有「碰」過其他女性。當我和這位年輕女孩跳舞時，我體驗了以前從未經歷過的感受。在舞會結束時，我完全說不出話來，只是咕噥說些含糊難辨的感謝話。
在我的生命中，除了我母親和我們的親密朋友圈，如姑姑、阿姨或表姐妹之類的人以外，我從來沒有「碰」過其他女性。當我和這位年輕女孩跳舞時，我體驗了以前從未經歷過的感受。在舞會結束時，我完全說不出話來，只是咕噥說些含糊難辨的感謝話。
我覺得很不自在，找了個藉口就回家了。我需要回到比較熟悉的地方—我的避風港。我的父親是個好人，但他很嚴肅。他能感受到有些不對勁。「你剛才去了哪裡？」他問道。 「我去了學校的舞會，」我用必要的中立語氣來回答。「你跳舞了嗎？」他單純地問。「跳了，」我回答後就開始哭了起來。
我覺得很不自在，找了個藉口就回家了。我需要回到比較熟悉的地方—我的避風港。我的父親是個好人，但他很嚴肅。他能感受到有些不對勁。「你剛才去了哪裡？」他問道。 「我去了學校的舞會，」我用必要的中立語氣來回答。「你跳舞了嗎？」他單純地問。「跳了，」我回答後就開始哭了起來。
過了六十歲的這個年紀，我還是想不透為什麼當時會有那種感受。不消說，在可預見的未來，我被禁止參加舞會。當禁令解除時，我已經來不及在高中時找到女朋友。後來我學到了我生命中第二個寶貴的教訓是：如果你想與任何人有真正的交流，包括女孩在內，你必須先學會打破所有自我主義的壁壘。
過了六十歲的這個年紀，我還是想不透為什麼當時會有那種感受。不消說，在可預見的未來，我被禁止參加舞會。當禁令解除時，我已經來不及在高中時找到女朋友。後來我學到了我生命中第二個寶貴的教訓是：如果你想與任何人有真正的交流，包括女孩在內，你必須先學會打破所有自我主義的壁壘。
偉大的發展心理學家尚‧皮亞傑(1896-1980)曾提出一個偉大的想法：「學校教育的主要目標應該是培養出能夠嘗試新事物的人，而不是只會重複前幾代人所做的事情。他們必須是具有創造力與發明力的探索者，並擁有批判與驗證的能力，而不是被動地接受這世界所提供的一切。」
偉大的發展心理學家尚‧皮亞傑(1896-1980)曾提出一個偉大的想法：「學校教育的主要目標應該是培養出能夠嘗試新事物的人，而不是只會重複前幾代人所做的事情。他們必須是具有創造力與發明力的探索者，並擁有批判與驗證的能力，而不是被動地接受這世界所提供的一切。」
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